jeanhar1@zazzle.com

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

How I am....not how I was

I Remember, acrylic, 14/18 framed 
$150.00

Sometimes, I am not whom I seem to be in the world. 
Sometimes when I look in the mirror I see only flaws.
I don't mean to be so critical of myself, it just happens.
This summer has been one of emotions.
Good and Bad and some that are new to me.
There are times when I'm trying to explain myself to someone and 
They stop me and say "That's not true". 
So who do I think I am? 
I find that I am someone who can be alone. In fact, if I was not alone I would not be painting and creating as much as I do.
But, that is not so ......I do not like to be alone all that much.

 I have this painting hand in my house.
Some say, "But you haven't finished it." 
I say, Haven't I? 
It is a reminder to me that there is always more to be done.
I have always told my husband he married a city girl.
But, is that true anymore?
I live far from the city and traffic of  freeways and crowds.
CHANGE.....Always. change.
When I was younger, I danced. I danced everyday and took dance classes.
MODERN DANCE. 
Do you remember when that was offered in college? 
I took every dance class they offered.
Oh, how I loved to dance.
Now that I'm older I don't dance much anymore.
Only at weddings and yoga retreats. 
CHANGE..Always change.
I use to Model.
I loved fashion, clothes and hair and style.
NO, that hasn't changed. I still love clothes and fashion.
But, my style has changed. You can't wear hot pants forever.
There is a grace with growing older.
In 5 months I will be 60 years old.
I look forward to that chapter of me life.
Will I be slowing down? 
HECK NO!!!
There is a Full Blue Moon on January 31.
There will not be another until 2018.
I am preparing my home, my body and my spirit for a wonderful cleansing.

I'm new to this, so I bought a few books to help me. 
I will also do the fire ceremony that I usually do for full moons. 

It's strange don't you think, I mean how we see ourselves. How the world See's us. 
Sometimes I think people see me how I was and not how I am.
What about you? 
Will you be open to the new you this blue moon?
Be Inspired,
~jean