Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Caroline Myss and Peter Occhiogrosso
"Forgive one person today. Open your heart to that person, and release unnecessary suffering from the past. Feel the peace that follows from this simple act."
This card was not one that I pulled by fate. No, I looked through the deck to find it.
For many reasons.
First, 2015 has started out to be intense! I mean really intense!
Fighting mad intense!
It seems that no matter where I went the people around me where geared up to challenge me.
None of my plans where falling into place. I was consistently changing appointments, and deadlines and having emergencies. All these things kept coming up to change my daily plans.
I started to look at what it was that was taking up my time.
Time that was taking me away from the things I felt were not getting done.
I had let the calendar start to rule my time.
But I was not enjoying anything.
There was no joy in my work, or my artwork, or even being around my family or friends.
My illnesses and injuries were starting to come back.
Some may call this stress. But, for me it was much more.
I let my diet go, my exercises and my plans to committed to art.
Every thought you have, every reaction and every decision you make. It all matters. There is not one small thing you do that doesn't affect yourself and others.
Looking back over the last couple of weeks I see that my feelings were being hurt.
People who were talking to me were only talking to me about people.
There were no new ideas coming in.
Just rehashing odd hurts, he said, she said.
It was exhausting.
I was not feeling the love I usually feel around me.
As a result odd hurts, unresolved anger come piling in.
I also say, you get the things you need when you need them. I believe that and I live it.
It happens to me constantly.
But, what was coming in was big, negative and hot.
What am I missing here?
I have not been going forward in any real meaningful way in the last six months.
Nothing felt new. All was just old stories, old problems.
My home was filling up with clutter, nothing was being put away. If something broke we just put it in the garage, didn't even bother to fix it or replace. Just mad it broke.
I was starting to live in a cloud of problems.
Floating without a plan. Just letting things happen.
Basically drifting along.
Things have to change. And if you don't make the conscious effect, trust me, the Universe will step in and hit you over the head.
So, I started to pray. I meditated. I got myself dressed and took myself outside into the sunshine.
We are not getting much snow this year. It is very odd. In Feb. we usually have at least 2-3 feet of snow. But this year none. While I love that I'm not driving in snow and can be outside walking, it is not right. The change has effected me. It has effected the schedule of my routine and the rhythm of my life.
I started to read my spiritual books and the topic of forgiveness came up. I picked up a angel reading, again forgiveness came up. My horoscope again....Forgiveness.
Here is where you have to really look hard at what is going on.
I prayed and meditate, and tried to go back to last years routine. Nope, no, none of that was helping.
Tried to talk to family, Nope. Friends, no.
It seemed like there was no answers out there for why I was getting so depressed farther and farther into each day. What was dragging me down?
Where was the peace I was looking for?
Why is everything a fight? Why was I feeling like I was being singled out?
I'm not a fighter, I'm quite, I go with the flow. I do what I'm told. I'm easy that way. I cause no problems.
Well, problems found me. And the Universe wasn't going to let me be still.
No, 2015 is about me finding my voice.
I have a few spiritual leaders I follow. Some I go to daily, others once a month and there are a few I have only read once.
Today I went to
Doreen Virtue, I listened to her 2015 angle reading.
To my surprise Forgiveness in Feb. came up.
I have read and heard about how you have to forgive people in your life who have harmed you.
It is for you not for them.
But the truth is, I did not know how to do that.
I have been holding tight to a lot of old stuff.
February is the month for detoxing. Another thing I haven't tried.
She gives a wonderful example of how to forgive.
It comes from John R. Price.
This is how it's done.
1. Write a list of the people who you need to forgive. As many people, places things you want to put on this list. It's your list , share it with no one.
2. Say to each person on this list,
I love you,
I forgive you,
I hold no unforgiveness to you.
and then release it. Let it go.
I did this.
But, there was something missing in the whole of it.
So I went searching for ways to forgive.
I came across this next YouTube video that just put it all down for me.
RT Kendall Sermon.
I will not tell you about this video. Or the steps for forgiveness.
I will tell you that when you are ready to forgive this is a great sermon.
This one did it for me.
Be prepare to take some time with this video.